Day 15: Life on the Edge
I was looking him right in the eye, rambling on, spewing my anger out at him like venom, and this little, small voice whispered in my ear:
“You know what time of the month it is, right?”
Boy did that infuriate me.
For the record, that small voice was not my husband. Although he has tried that and boy, did that make things worse. It was like he woke the beast.
But this is real. For me at least. Hormones. I joke that between pre, during, and post “that time of the month” I’ve got 3 good days. Sometimes it doesn’t feel too funny.
My hormones can be all over the place, and one thing I’ve discovered is that they are like a magnifying glass. They take any little feeling I have and make it seem so large all there is left to do is talk (or yell) about the elephant in the room.
There has only been one way that I can talk myself off this precipice (that sounds so much higher than a ledge). Recognize it for what it is. I am not on a precipice at the top of Mount Killa-anything-in-my-vacinity. This (whatever I’m angry about) is so much smaller than I think it is. It’s real, but just smaller.
Sometimes you have to get comfortable on the edge to recognize you’re not as high off the ground as you thought.
I don’t have this all figured out. I don’t know the best way to get a handle on my hormones and the anger so that so often accompanies them. But if I sit for a while and remind myself this is not as bad as I think it is, sometimes I gain perspective just long enough to breathe.
So, take a deep, deep breathe and exhale.
And eat a piece of chocolate. Chocolate always helps.
If you want to catch up on the series, click the link below.