My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

Day 21: Choosing to Believe

To My Husband,

I’m sorry I haven’t believed you. I have no right to distrust your word, yet I have time and again. You’ve spent almost two decades telling me I’m beautiful, and I haven’t always believed you.

photo credit: utahstateaggiegirl.wordpress.com

photo credit: utahstateaggiegirl.wordpress.com

It really isn’t you, and I think you know that by now. That doesn’t make it fair, either. You deserve better than that. You have shown yourself to be nothing but honest with me, and I want you to know that I’m trying.

I’m trying to believe when you tell me my smile is beautiful.

I’m trying to trust that you like what you see, what you feel.

I’m trying to choose your trustworthiness instead of my insecurity. I may have known me longer than I’ve known you, but I think you’ve been more honest with me than I have.

I do trust you. I do believe you. And I’m choosing that every time your eyes linger or your hand grasps mine. I want to believe you every time. Every. single. time.

So, please don’t give up on me. Know that I know you mean it. Know that I love you. Know that I’m trusting you more than I’m trusting myself.

Thank you for seeing my beauty when I cannot. Don’t stop telling me. Every time you do I will try to exhale so you are all I hear.

I love you.

Your wife

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photo credit: 1ms.net

photo credit: 1ms.net

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