My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

It’s Time to Dig In and Dig Out

I’ve deleted and retyped portions of this post over and over. It still feels scary, but I’m publishing anyway. This is not a cry for ego stroking or a pity party. This is real, and I hope you can be real too.

I’m really good at going through my day, my week, my life happy. I’m great at being real enough that I don’t portray perfection, but not so real that we actually discuss the messy stuff.


The problem is that on some level, I’m pretending. I’m pretending everything is fine. I’m pretending I don’t get jealous and envy what others have. I’m pretending that my anger doesn’t claw its way out of me on a regular basis. I’m pretending I don’t pretend.

It’s like I spend my life washing one side of my hands only to hide how dirty the other side is.


But this is why I’m here. It’s time to be real, really real. But it’s not for me. There is one reason you should know what’s in my heart and yours.

So people can see Jesus.

If my mess is the very thing that brings glory to God, am I willing to show people?

Before we can get any further in our Heart Cleaning we need to dig in our heels and decide it’s time to dig out. It’s time to empty every shelf, closet, and under the layers we’ve built up in our hearts.

It won’t be all bad. Sometimes we find treasures and old gifts amongst the broken pieces and things we’d rather leave hidden. Right now we don’t need to decide what’s what. All we need to do is decide to go through it all.

If my mess is the very thing that brings glory to God, am I willing to show people? Click To Tweet

When I dig out I find so many things I don’t like.

I get jealous of what other people have.

I am insanely insecure and fear those I love leaving me.

I get really mad sometimes.

I wish my house was nicer, newer, prettier.

I wish I was nicer, newer, prettier.

I don’t read my Bible everyday.

I don’t like church.


I find a few things in there I’ve forgotten, too.

I am a good leader.

I’m smart.

I am good at baking.

I am happily married.

I am a good mom.


When I take all of this out and line it up in the light it’s not nearly as intimidating as when it was in the crooks of my heart.

Get it out into the light. Then we can decide what to do with it.

What things have been hiding in the recesses of your heart?

If you’ve missed any of the Spring Cleaning Series, click on the link below.

spring cleaning

About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

2 Replies

  1. joyce blundon


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