I’m not Hardcore
Someone asked me for a book the other day. They had been looking for it and had no luck at the local library, or at any library in the state. It was a Christian book about a Christian who changed something to better….well, Christianity.
I had no idea what she was talking about.
She didn’t use these exact words or anything. She had names and places and all, but I still had no idea. I listened to her all the time wondering what she would think about the books I just helped my kids purchase from the book fair. They weren’t about the antichrist, but I’m certain they could be found at many libraries and they did not talk about God — at all.
I didn’t feel judged by her. I didn’t feel any better or worse than her, but as I listened to her talk about wanting her kids to read about positive Christians that influenced the world, well I couldn’t help but feel a little soft.
The truth is:
I don’t go to church every Sunday
Some of my closest friends don’t share my beliefs.
I don’t read my Bible everyday.
My kids go to public school. (Sure we homeschooled for a time, but that had very little to do with any religious convictions and more to do with kids learning needs.)
I drink alcohol on occasion (and I like it).
I don’t serve on any committees at church.
So, I’m not a hardcore Christian. I can tell you what I am hardcore at: LOVE. I don’t do it perfectly, or even at all sometimes, but I try to love with all that I am.
I’m not saying I have it all right. But I spent a lot of time fighting the place I’m in and that only led to one thing: anger. So instead I’m going soft. I’m easing up on myself and my expectations. There’s a price. Sometimes I don’t feel like a good Christian, but I really don’t think that God is going to ask me how good I was at going to church. I think He’ll want to know one thing:
How well did you love?
About Becky Hastings
I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.