My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

Falling and Failing

I never knew the track I was on was perilously perched high above the ground without a safety net. Somehow I missed that sign along the way, and now that I’ve decided to get off the track I find myself free-falling in slow motion.

photo credit: filemagazine.com

photo credit: filemagazine.com

Nothing about this process is quick, even failing.

That’s the honest truth of what it feels like. Every second that I feel the air and flail my fingers I think about how safe those tracks felt compared to this. And this, this free fall of the unknown, well, it feels like failing.

I know we’ll say it’s not. We’ll chalk it up to part of the process. And maybe someday when my feet are firmly planted in whatever earth they were meant for I’ll look up at the sky while I smile and nod somehow understanding the necessity of the fall as part of the process.

But right now? I can’t see it.

So as I fall, I try to breathe deep. I try to stretch out and embrace the air instead of curling up in the ball that beckons from my core. And maybe someday I’ll see, I’ll understand why falling and failing are two different things.


Today I gave myself the gift of five minutes, uncensored. I didn’t even make a direct connection with the word prompt this week which was HANDS, and I didn’t go back and second guess myself (shhhh…don’t tell). Give yourself the gift of five minutes with Lisa-Jo Baker every Friday.

About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I’m here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

4 Replies

  1. As a child I was taught that only perfection matters, and that failure is not an option. I was also taught that falling is the same as failure. *Knowing* that there is a difference between the two does not make it any easier to accept that as you see the ground rushing toward you, though! All I know is that looking back on my life falling flat on my face has sometimes been the best thing that could have happened to me. I hope that whatever you’re going through ultimately leads to good, not disaster, and I hope that there ends up being a giant air mattress between you and the ground by the time you get there.

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thank you so much Tiffany. It helps to know I’m not the only one who has been there. It’s funny how the situation matters so much less than the emotions it evokes. Thanks for sharing, and I’ll be looking for that air mattress!

  2. Your words are as beautiful as your heart that shines through them. I love the comparison of falling and failing because we too often equate them, don’t we. And perhaps you know this but it bears telling you – as long as you are trying, as long as you are getting back up, as long as you are falling and not quitting, you are *not* failing.

    Thank you for these words. And I love that you boldly refused to succumb to your inner critic and edit your words. Flailing fingers is a pretty direct connection to hands *wink*

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thank you Judith. It means so much to me that people who understand, people who have been there, take a moment to share their thoughts. Your encouragement means so much!

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