My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

Day 3…Inversion

woman with raindrops

I’m too big for that. The thought is as instant as recognizing the color of the dress on the hanger in front of me. It’s not that they don’t have my size. No, it’s that I don’t believe I should wear the beautiful dress because my size disqualifies me from wearing something so bold.

I can’t go there. The day at the beach sounded like so much fun, but how could I have fun when everyone around me is so much skinnier than me?

I shouldn’t get that. I know that’s what the people around me are thinking.  Why would she order dessert? Can’t she see how big she is? If they’re not thinking it, I am certainly thinking it for them. I can either enjoy it and feel guilty or go without.

How many things have I missed out on or walked away from in my life because I had associated my size with whether I was worthy of something beautiful or fun or special?

Somehow I subscribed to the notion that the greater my mass the less I deserved.

So many of my choices revolved around a scale. I was looking for a value in the numbers that glared up at me from above my toes. No matter what that number is it will never represent my value.

God’s love for us has no scale. It does not change when our body changes. His love for us is full and complete, always. This is the one thing that makes us worthy.

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Think of something you want to do and do it for you without worrying about how big or small you are. Wear a bright lipstick, buy the shirt you’ve wanted, take off the cover-up, go dancing, buy yourself flowers. You are worthy. Just as you are.


Check out the rest of the series by clicking on the link below.

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About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I’m here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

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