My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

When You Don’t Fit

Do you ever feel like this whole big internet is just another venue where you can feel like you don’t belong?

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The cool kids.

Even with my series on feeling worthy I forget. I reflexively revert back to thinking how much better everyone else is, they are cool and fun and pretty. They are together living these successful adventurous lives. Leaving me with one question:

What am I?

I can write all about worthy for 31 days, but you should know I’m living it as I’m writing it.

Maybe I’m not supposed to. Maybe I am supposed to have it all figured out before I string words together. But if I wait to have it all together I’ll never start.

How do I get from a place of secretly envying all the pretty perfect cool people to somewhere better. I don’t want contentment. I don’t want my life to be a little sigh and a smile content to carry whatever cross I’ve dragged along with me. I was made to be more than a settler. And so were you.

When I look at Jesus everything else is in the periphery. I know people are there and I can interact with them, but I don’t need to focus on the details of what they have that I don’t.

And much like the way that I coaxed my heart into forgiveness, I can change the way I see the people around me. What if every time I felt a twinge of envy I stopped and said, Lord, please bless her? Would my heart change? Maybe I can choose something other than labels and judgements. Maybe I can choose honor and love and blessing even when I don’t know how.

Sometimes you just have to make the choice and move forward. Your heart will catch up.


Linking up today with Holley Gerth and Jennifer Dukes Lee.

 

About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

2 Replies

  1. In my “old age” I’m learning to “rejoice in my portion”. (Isaiah 61:7 Amplified Bible). I realized that I was missing out on the blessings in my own life, even the blessing of being who God made me to be, when my eyes were focused on others. Becky, you are a blessing and a light here, and I am sure in your home, family, church and community. God’s anointing is on the real you, it can’t be on you trying to be like someone else. 🙂

    1. Becky Hastings

      Wow. Those are such powerful words Elizabeth! “God’s anointing is on the real you, it can’t be on you trying to be like someone else.” You have blessed me greatly today!

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