My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

Still Here

I haven’t done it. I haven’t written a book.

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Even after all this time.

All this wanting, talking, dreaming. I still haven’t gotten there.

I’m beginning to wonder if where ‘there’ is.

Sometimes dreaming isn’t enough. Hoping, longing, and wanting only get you to the a deeper place in yourself. It’s like sinking. Going deeper into yourself until you are swimming in circles content to hold your breath for another day or year or lifetime.

Sometimes still feels like a rock sitting at the bottom of an ocean of what-ifs.

And I think that maybe someday I will move. This anchor holding me down like the ceiling I’ve built to protect my potential.

But what if still isn’t enough?

What if I, what if we fight back against the still and do something about it?

ripples

Maybe then things won’t feel so stuck, so ingrown. Maybe then we can escape ourselves to find something new.

A rock only makes ripples if it’s moving.


Linking words with writers longing for 5 minutes of freedom today at Five Minute Friday.

 

About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I’m here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

2 Replies

  1. Love your post….you know, I was feeling the same as you around August time….”still haven’t written my book”/in a stress about it….so I decided that I’d write it in November…and I am!….2000 words a day. I’m 28,000 words in and counting….it’s not perfect – by any means – but I’m very proud of myself. I decided I’d do it and I’m doing it. It was that ‘easy’….I just pencilled it in on my calendar, nothing disturbs my writing time and I’m doing it. I’m so proud.

    1. Becky Hastings

      Helen! That’s fantastic. You should be proud! Thanks for encouraging me to keep going!

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