My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

It’s Time to Toss the Map

I’m feeling a little lost. I keep turning the maps around and around trying to figure out which way is the right way to go. Every time I think I’ve got it, I pick up one foot to move forward. But that other foot, the one that’s planted firmly in the crossroad of indecision and the unknown, that one tethers me back to fear.

Have you ever been there?

photo credit: Jonas Kekko

photo credit: Jonas Kekko

It’s lonely when you have a chain around your ankle and you can’t seem to find the key. Maybe you’ve given up looking. I’ve done it. Throwing my hands up in the air, I can’t seem to find the will to keep thinking, fighting, figuring it out. I’m exhausted and I haven’t even moved.

As I sit in my crossroad I look at the map I’ve been turning and examining and resisting the urge to crumple and hurl into the wind. There’s something funny about this map, this paper that I’ve been focusing on to get me where I need to go: it consists of senseless scribbles drawn by a child. And then I realize that child is me.

I’ve spent all my time trying to follow a map that was created in complete immaturity, lacking wisdom and knowledge.

I rip it to shreds and toss it to the wind. Only then do I look down and see that the chain holding me is gone and when I turn around in a tight circle I see that every direction is beautiful. I had to let go of my control to be free from fear and now I’m left with one thing before me. It’s time to take a step into the beautiful.

About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

2 Replies

  1. Kendra

    Beautiful writing. It spoke to my heart this morning. Thank you.

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