When Stillness Scares Me
Sometimes I need to force myself to be still. I need to force myself to quiet the raging ferris wheel of questions that spins round and round again. Sometimes the quiet scares me.
I sat stringing ideas into words into sentiments today and the fear snuck up around my throat. The words I write, they are raw and imperfect. They show my heart when I’m brave and my thoughts when I’m not.
Even still, my own words can scare me. And I don’t know how to share them.
So, I click around distracting myself with headlines and glimpses at other people’s lives, hoping something will justify my bearing my soul here in this internet world of webs and wonder.
And maybe I’m not ready.
The thought worries me, but it’s no less real than the keys my fingers tap. And I don’t know quite what to do with that, with any of it really.
This writer’s world is new and exciting and worn and frightening.
But feelings are no reason not to do something.
So, I’ll continue to tap the keys and pour thoughts into words.
And I’ll force myself to be still. Sometimes the stillness is the only way to know how to move.
About Becky Hastings
I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.