Taylor Swift Got It Wrong
She sings of love that is meant to be and how much you belong together. But the truth is it doesn’t matter. Belonging together is only a small piece of a puzzle that is without borders and has pieces missing.
At some point you will be the one who takes away the smile and doesn’t understand.
At some point you will hurt this person that made you swoon and gave you butterflies.
And none of it means you are any less destined for one another.
It means you are real and human and that true love isn’t about belonging, but about choosing. It’s about making choices not as much for the other person, but for the who you are together.
There is a trend at weddings that is all wrong. The unity candle.
It used to be that there was a candle for the bride and one for the groom. Then the come together to light one single, larger, stronger candle in the middle. At that point people used to extinguish the individual candles.
Now, however people keep them lit. They focus on the importance of maintaining who each individual is while also fostering this new union.
If a flame is bigger where you give it fuel you have a decision to make. Do you want to put all of your effort into nurturing the flame that represents the union of who you are as individuals coming together or do you want to divide yourself and try to fuel who you are, who your spouse is and who you are together?
Strong, lasting, lifetime love doesn’t always look rosy. No, that love can be worn and yellow over time. It can be tear-stained and blood stained but in the end the stains just add to the strength.
As we turn the radio up and sing along to the top 40 that promises perfect love offered up by destiny, let’s not forget that the song is just a song and life and love are more than a catchy chorus.
Real love is choosing to stick with puzzle even when you think a piece is missing and you can’t see the big picture.
Real love is a choice to take that little piece of belonging and link it together with forgiveness and understanding, respect and commitment, honesty and joy. Real love is always a choice.
About Becky Hastings
I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.