My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

What To Do If Valentine’s Day Didn’t Meet Your Expectations

I spent years insisting that I don’t want flowers for Valentine’s Day. After all, it’s just a Hallmark holiday, and they’re so overpriced, and I don’t really need them. Right?

The funny thing is, there was a part of me that wanted them. Despite everything I said, all of my arguments against them, flowers make me happy.

Flowers on Valentine’s Day did more than that. They took all of my arguments and agreed with them. Yes, it feels like a Hallmark holiday. Yes, they are overpriced. No, they are not a necessity. But you are worth it anyway.

photo credit: love-handmade.co.uk

photo credit: love-handmade.co.uk

Sometimes February 15th seems like more of a celebration than the day before. Sometimes we’re just grateful all the hype reminding us of unmet expectation and imperfect love is behind us for another 364 days. Sometimes the day after makes you feel like you can breathe. Sometimes it makes you feel like crying.

Maybe you didn’t have that someone special to share the day with.

Maybe you didn’t get a sentimental card like you hoped.

Maybe you spent the day alone.

No matter how you spent the day of or the days after, a single day was never meant to bestow all the love you deserve for the year. Click To Tweet

Valentine’s Day is everyday and not at all. It’s the way we live out and love out, but sometimes we forget and we think it’s all about us. If we spend our time waiting for the perfect Valentine’s Day that revolves around us, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

If we make Valentine's Day about how and who we can love, we will have a fullness of heart that can't fit into a square on the calendar. Click To Tweet

But we are human, aren’t we?

We watch the commercials and walk the aisles of red and pink for weeks building anticipation for something that will never fully be enough. So, how do we balance our humanity with our hope? How do we balance our head with our heart?

  • Stop looking in the mirror and start looking through the window. When we look at our needs, our wants, our hopes all we see is ourselves. When we start looking at the needs, wants, and hopes of others we can do something for them. That will always fill us up more than staring at our “stuff” in the mirror.

 

  • Put down the cardstock and pick up pages of life. Hallmark can sure pen a beautiful message. They can make us laugh or cry, pull at our heart-strings or give us hope. But nothing can bring as much meaning as the love letter written thousands of years ago. Find a few Bible verses and breathe them in, let them soak deep. Here’s a few to get you started: Romans 5:5, Psalm 136:2-3, Romans 8:38-39.

 

  • Be real, to a point. When a holiday like Valentine’s Day is hard there’s nothing wrong with being honest about it. But don’t stay in that place of discouragement. Make a choice to find joy and beauty and love all around you. Sometimes we need to make a choice with our head and let the feelings of our heart catch up.

 

  • Find your voice. This is the most practical thing we can do. The people in our lives can’t possibly know every little thought or desire. Sometimes you need to tell them. It may feel awkward and forced, but the more you are able to do this the happier you and the people in your life will be. And if it feels strange, remember you are worthy of having feelings and desires. (When all else fails be honest with a good friend and ask them to pass the message along!)

Valentine’s Day is just a day. We have a choice how to face it and that decision will make all the difference before and after February 14th has passed.

 

About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I’m here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

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