My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

Do You Laugh for Real?

I used to think I was an open book. That I wore my heart on my sleeve and hid nothing. I love transparency, and the truth in relationships that hold it. I used to think that’s who I was.

And then I thought about laughter.

image credit: feeling & loving

image credit: feeling & loving


Chances are, if you’ve been around me at all you’ve heard me laugh. I’m generally a happy person, although deep to the core. Emotion runs in my veins and laughter is no different.

But I’m not sure how real I’ve been. Because I have a laugh that I use with people and then a laugh, my laugh, that I use with my people.

That laugh, the real one, has changed over the years. I love laughing, but when I don’t know someone well it is another piece of myself that I reserve. Holding back keeps me safe.

Safe from what I’m not really sure.

I almost feel badly about this, but then I realize that part of growing up is finding your people. Transparency does not mean I need to reveal everything to everyone. Transparency means I am honest and real in my interactions.

So, if you hear me laugh, really laugh, you’ll know. You’ll hear a piece of my grandmother and maybe watch my shoulders shake. I won’t be able to get a word out and I may laugh more than the situations deserves. And this is a piece of myself that is true to who I am. And if you hear it you’ll know. I feel at home with you.

What pieces of yourself do you reserve for your people?

5 minutes can tick on forever or can be gone in the blink of an eye. I wanted more time here. More editing. More ability to develop my idea and give it structure. But that’s not what I’m doing this month.

To see the rest of the posts in my series, click the link below!

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About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

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