When You Feel Invisible
I walked into the little market and immediately saw three people I knew. They were perfectly pleasant people, always friendly in the past. Busy with their work and conversations, I headed over to the soup comfortably minding my own business. I wasn’t sure how to go forward.
It’s that moment when I wonder if I should say hello. Do I go out of my way to initiate conversation with these acquaintances or do I stay invisible, head down, busy in my own self?
Because deep down I seem to think that although I may see them, surely they don’t see me.
I walk past two of the people talking and I have a choice. I can avoid eye contact or choose to be the person I would want someone to be to me. I look over, pause and say hello. It’s uncomfortable and uncertain for me, but both return a friendly hello and I keep going.
It was a start.
Over at the counter I say hello to other person and then head to a seat. As he brings over my hot chocolate, I take a risk and start a conversation. I ask about him and the business. Joke casually and smile. It was perfectly normal, even if it didn’t feel normal inside.
As I left I wondered why I feel invisible. This idea that no one knows who I am, that I’m not memorable enough that someone would know me, says little about them and everything about me.
But I don’t want to be that version of myself, the one who waits to see if someone knows me before I reach out.
Knowing I’m worth seeing is the beginning of being seen.
About Becky Hastings
I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.