My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

When Grace Feels Hard

Grace can be easy to dismiss when life feels okay and all is going well. But those moments when things feel dark and hard we can see just how much light grace brings. The real trouble is believing it.

I’m excited to welcome my friend Natalie to My Ink Dance to share what God has shown her recently about our hearts, the church and how grace fits into this great big puzzle of life.


When Grace Feels Hard
When Becky asked me to write for My Ink Dance a few months ago she gave me a few ideas that I could use to prompt my writing. One of those things was grace. The thought of writing about grace two months ago was enough to make my eyes roll.

 

I have become jaded over the years by terms that get thrown around so loosely they feel cliché at best and completely hypocritical at worst. I know many had good intentions when they were trying to offer encouragement to me but in many cases I was left feeling worse than I had to begin with.

 

Some of the most difficult “encouragements” were after I had 2 miscarriages, after I struggled with self injury and suicidal thoughts and when my close friend died. I have even felt abandoned by the church when my abuser was told his punishment for sexually abusing me was that he couldn’t take communion for a few weeks.

 

 

Over the last several weeks I have been going through something that may be the most difficult thing I’ve ever dealt with in my adult life. However, it is usually in those moments where everything is uncertain and I feel weak that I discover just how high, and how wide, and how deep the love of God is for me.

 

Two Sundays ago I heard a sermon preached on the scripture 2 Corinthians 12:9 “My grace is sufficient for you, my strength is made perfect in weakness.”  This message from God was His way of saying “no” to Paul while explaining the “no” simultaneously.

 

Paul had asked God to remove the thorn in his flesh and God’s reply was: “no, but my grace is enough for you, where you are weak it is there that I am your strength.”

 

I have seen God’s grace throughout this season in ways I wouldn’t have even looked at before.

 

I have experienced His grace in the gentle whisper when He said to me “you don’t think you deserve to be loved”. That was a revelation I needed to have so I could allow Him to heal me of that brokenness. It’s a process far from over.

 

I have experienced His grace when a friend supported and held me accountable in an area where all I wanted to do was hide and sink into the emptiness of my shame.

 

I have experienced His grace when I have had to make difficult decisions and set boundaries that would usually send me spinning out of control. I was able to be strong because I was leaning on His strength in my weakness.

 

Believe Grace
 
If you feel like you’re hearing a “no” to a need that you’ve been lifting up then I encourage you to lean into His grace and let Him be your strength where you are weak.

 

I have struggled with the concept of God’s grace until just recently and I believe that my disillusionment was based on the false belief that I don’t actually deserve it. Maybe you are there too? But the truth is, you do deserve His grace and His strength in your weakness. So the beginning of your journey to experiencing that grace and strength might just be you allowing yourself to believe that you deserve it just like I had to.
 

Natalie Mejias is the atypical outgoing introvert. She would rather talk about something real and be vulnerable than live in the shadows of shame. She writes to bring hope and healing to others as well as to herself. 

Sharing words with these great writers today!

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About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I’m here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

4 Replies

  1. Beautiful post, Natalie. And I love your site, Becky!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thanks Shelby! Come back again! 😉

  2. Kenya Neabar

    Beautiful Post, Becky and Natalie you both are wonderful women and I’m encouraged by your blogs. Love u both, Thanks for your transparency,your awesome and God is so faithful

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thanks Kenya! xo

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