My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

How Real Are We Willing To Be?

It’s become easier here in this space to write brave and free. I’ve talked about the church and faith and relationships. I’ve talked a lot about how we see ourselves. But there are things I still hold back because it is so hard.

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Trailblazing brave is hard. You have to be willing to walk in the thickest parts of the forest without a path to guide your way. It requires time and commitment and sometimes blood as you trek through the unknown to make a way for yourself and anyone else who faces the same questions.

Is this waxing a bit poetic for you? Well, let me put it out there in black and white with the trail I’m on right now.

If I can't love myself at 192 pounds I will never love myself at 152 pounds or 132 pounds. Click To Tweet

Yeah, I went there. I just put my weight out there for the whole world-wide web to see. And sometimes I have no idea why.

See, I write brave making it look so easy to share the inner pieces of my head and heart, but you should know I do so with shaking knees and a finger hovered above the delete button.

Some days I force myself to hit publish, and a lot of days I don’t know why. This is what honest looks like.

I wish all my days could beΒ love letters to my body and things I’m done apologizing for, but brave is hard and sometimes I have to force myself to go there. And when I really think about why it’s as much for me as it is for you.

My self has always been an issue for me. Whether it’s my body or my heart or my feelings or my abilities. No amount of writing brave has completely eradicated me of my self-esteem issues. But it has gotten easier.

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There is something about recognizing truth and saying it for what it is that brings freedom. It shines a light into the darkest of places and gives you hope that maybe it won’t always be so frighteningly black. Maybe there is light that you never knew existed. And when we all hold up our little slivers of light together in a great abyss of darkness, well, that’s when we can light up the world with God’s truth.

What truth do you need to bring light to today? For me, it is a struggle with weight. A struggle that I can’t seem to get a hold on, but one that I am learning to hear God’s truth in.


Sharing words with these great writers today!

Faith Filled Friday

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About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I’m here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

27 Replies

  1. Kim's County Line

    I am visiting from Tell His Story. I read a couple of the other links you included in this post, and they resonated so deeply with me, since it is a struggle I’ve faced my entire life, too. I will be back for more. Thanks for sharing something so personal and difficult.

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thank you so much for being here Kim! It is such an encouragement to know that we don’t go through these things in isolation. God has good plans for you my friend. Find a sliver of truth and hold onto that each day!

  2. Love your Brave, Girl! Keep it up!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thanks Sarah! It’s nice to be in good company πŸ™‚

  3. Strong and courageous you are, Becky! So very good to rub shoulders with you today. Thank God we are not defined by our numbers, but by our Savior!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Amen to that Linda!

  4. We are all weak in some area or other. Hiding it is like wearing a mask, a cover-up. It takes humility to stomp out the pride that doesn’t want anyone to know. And getting it out there lets those who think they are the only ones with that struggle know that they are not, in fact, alone.
    God bless you.

    1. Becky Hastings

      Isn’t that the blessing in it? To be able to see that you’re not alone and that God loves you right where you are?! Glad you’re here today!

  5. Oh those days when I hover over “Publish.” It seems so final.
    I am there with you on the weight issue and want to be healthy and balanced for my girls. But I also want all the chocolate!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Yes, yes, and yes on all the chocolate! It’s so hard to figure out how to live happy and healthy. Chocolate makes me happy. I don’t think I want to live a life with no chocolate! But oh how real the struggle is! So grateful for you!

  6. Whether it’s weight or marriage or a baby or a new job, we have to learn contentment where we are or that next new thing or change won’t actually make us any happier. Thanks for this brave post and for linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

    1. Becky Hastings

      You’re so right Kristin. God never called us to a life of striving. I think He even said something about being still πŸ™‚

  7. Inspiring, Becky. I’m right there with you, being real isn’t easy – in fact, I don’t think it’s supposed to be. Without that stretching and hard work, growth and freedom wouldn’t be so meaningful and effective in our lives. Much like you, being authentic hasn’t rid me of my self-esteem issues, but it has allowed me to process them in a healthy way and give God access to them. And that gives others permission to do the same. Keep it up, brave one!!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thank you for your brave Tiffany. Knowing others feel the same things makes it all feel less isolating. It’s hard to make sense of all that we feel sometimes, but writing brave helps so much (even when it feels so hard!)

  8. I love your honesty AND your bravery! It can most certainly be hard to be open when you know not everyone will respect you for it. But I hope you know so many of us do. There was so much truth in your statement. In your whole post. And it’s a truth we women (especially me) need to here.

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thank you Heather. It is so great to know we are not going it alone πŸ™‚

  9. I think we really believe shoving our ugly in dark corners is a quick fix. Unfortunately, it isn’t. The only way to heal is to roll out guns blazing with truth on that stuff. Thanks for the reminder and encouragement that it is okay not to hide. Because the real safety is being raw and naked with Jesus. When the salve of truth is applied to those infectious lies…

    1. Oh-stopping in from Grace & Truth! πŸ™‚

    2. Becky Hastings

      Yes! You are so right Christy! His truth is the only think that can heal. And by the way….Naked with Jesus is a perfect book title. I know we just met and all, but seriously think about it….we could co-write! πŸ™‚

  10. Thanks for being honest and brave!!!! It will always reach farther than you know!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Isn’t that the hard part? Sometimes we don’t see what our brave honesty does and who it reaches. So glad for the reminder today πŸ™‚

  11. Hi Becky,
    I appreciate your honesty and your point of view as a follower of the light.

    Your blog has made me think about the parts of my life that I struggle with and how I can speak out about it at least to myself- to start to solve the problems..

    Sending blessings your way! (in as non-cheesy way as possible) : p

    <3Marina

    1. Becky Hastings

      Marina I loved and appreciated everything you wrote here, but I have to say I loved your non-cheesy remark the most! πŸ™‚

  12. The name of my blog is Be Real because I think it’s important to be real with who we are, what we eat, how we feel, the struggles we endure. We all have them and it makes me nuts when people put on a mask and act like everything is ok when it isn’t. We can’t encourage, help, grow, learn if we pretend life is perfect.

    I love your realness and vulnerability, Becky! Thank you for it; you will help someone because of it – and someone can encourage you back. Like me – I think you’re awesome and beautiful just where you are this minute, today! πŸ™‚ Thank you for being real!

    1. Becky Hastings

      I love the name of your blog Kathy! Every time I see your posts on facebook or online it makes me smile…it’s like an instant reminder to be who I am. And it’s pretty great rubbing shoulders with people who long for and encourage that realness. xo

  13. Thanks for a refreshingly honest and brave post, Becky! Glad I found you through Grace&Truth!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thanks Carlie! I’m glad you’re here!

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