My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

7 Things I Am Sorry For

I’ve written a lot about being real. Living authentic and being true to who God made us to be is at the core of my message. Grace upon grace.

I’ve even written about things I’m done apologizing for (which I still firmly stand behind and could probably add to). But in truth, I come across a lot of things that I am really very sorry about. This list is not at all exhaustive, but it’s a start.

1. Going to the Nurse

This one really goes out to my mom. And my grandparents. And even the nurse herself. I spent a good deal of my time in the school nurse’s office. I wasn’t really sick. More sick of being somewhere I didn’t want to be. My mom and the school caught on quick so I resorted to helping other kids escape by running the thermometer under hot water when the nurse wasn’t looking. Yes, I’m that old that we used real thermometers. And yes, this apology may or may not be related to the ‘sick’ boy picked up from school today drinking tea and eating a cookie. Maybe.

2. Making that Face

It’s the one I don’t even know I’m making most of the time. I read once to hold up a mirror when you’re angry. That’s what your kids see. I never got brave enough for the mirror. But I have a feeling I know the face. And I don’t like it. I wish I didn’t get mad, but some days it’s just so hard! I would like to find a better way to handle my mad. Without the face. I should go back and read that book my daughter reminded me of one day when I was making that face. Yes, said daughter is still alive and well.

3. Worrying so Much

Yeah, worry….so this is a biggie for me. Worry is just fear dressed up in more acceptable clothing. I worry far too much. I really wish I didn’t. I know one more check of the sleeping kids will not prevent SIDS, but you never know. Never-mind that I haven’t had a kid in diapers in over six years. There’s too much to list here. Will be revisited in future posts. Moving on.

Worry is just fear dressed up in more acceptable clothing. Click To Tweet

4. I Don’t Laugh More

Sometimes I’m wound so tight, responsible for 5 people and their food and clothes and calendars and rides and faith and friendships and general well-being. I want to control so many things and I all too easily forget that I’m not really in control, and even more than that, I don’t need to be. I wish I laughed more. I’m working on it. This may or may not have to do with #3.

5. Saying No

This one is tricky because I’m sorry, but not sorry. I’ve been working hard to figure out what I am capable of, what works for me and what makes me (and my family) happy. I’ve said no to a lot of good things so I can say yes to the very best things. I wish I didn’t have to say no, but I’m figuring me out. And one thing I know is that I need whitespace, empty calendar squares and time. Saying no isn’t a bad thing, but I do (not so) secretly wish I could do everything. And for any times I’ve said no to making cookies, that was just wrong.

6. Fashion, Beauty and Decorating

It’s really simple. These are not my areas of expertise. They don’t come naturally at all. Shopping stresses me out. Deciding where to put something causes angst. I really am sorry to my girls for not passing on a great fashion sense and killer beauty skills. At least they have You Tube. So, if you see me just catching on to a trend from four years ago the truth is that it took that long to convince me it was worth trying. I’ll just be over here hoping boot leg jeans and the mom bob come back in style. It worked for leggings and pixies. I think.

7. Missing Date Night, Again

I know it’s important. I know we need time together. But sometimes getting 5 schedules to align plus fitting a babysitter in the mix is just too much for this wife. I promise I will make time with my hubby, but it’s a lot more likely to be watching NCIS on the couch than putting on heels and making a reservation. We’ll go out again before they’re 18.

 

Apologizing can be good. Especially to ourselves. It helps us let things go and move on. What do you have to apologize for today?


Sharing words at #raralinkup and with these great writers today!

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About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

4 Replies

  1. Becky, I, too, have used the word “no” a bit to liberally, both as a protective armor, and also just out of selfishness. I want to improve here, and to say well-placed yeses to God and to my family.

    1. Becky Hastings

      It’s really about those well placed yeses, isn’t it? They make such a difference! I guess that’s where wisdom comes in 🙂

  2. Although I don’t have children yet, I often feel the weight of responsibility for my husband (and fur child). I need to learn how to say no so I can say yes to those things that matter. Thanks for sharing my new friend!! Love this 🙂

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thank you Renee! I understand well the responsibility of those fur babies (and husband!) So glad to make new friends that understand 🙂

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