My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

Five Minute Friday…She

Today I fought the urge to edit. I’ll confess I changed two sentences and took an extra minute. But I wrote and that’s what I’m here for.  I’m linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday.

Five minutes.

One word.

No editing.

No rethinking.

Just writing.

Today’s word: She

talking women

photo credit:


She stood across from me smiling. We had met a few weeks ago and we were chatting, making small talk as we waited for our kids. She was saying something about the fundraiser and then the new teacher, but all I could hear was she.

She is so put together.

Look at her shoes. Heels in the middle of the day. And she’s a stay at home mom.

And long hair. Down, of course, because she can.

She is so right and perfect and what I should be.

I instantly felt badly. The truth was, she hadn’t done a single thing to me but have a conversation. So this she conversation that was going on in my head wasn’t about the she in front of me. It was about the she inside of me. I don’t always like her.

But I know someone who does. And that conversation isn’t about heels and hair. It’s about heart and heaven. If that’s what the conversation about me sounds like, at least the one that matters, isn’t there a similar conversation about the woman across from me? And if there is then who am I to say a single thing in my head about the she before me?


I think there is so much we think and don’t say about this comparison trap of ‘she’. What are your thoughts? Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others?

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14 Replies

  1. this is honest and from the heart. I like that. Thanks for sharing it for us.

    1. Thanks Michaela! That’s what this whole writing dance is about for me…being as true to myself as I can. Thanks for commenting!

  2. Yes, sometimes we are our own worst critiques. It is not easy to edit out that voice, it has been an ongoing struggle for me, for many of us I am sure of it. Some days are better than others…when I can look in the mirror and feel good about what reflects back. I wonder at times if that is what makes them wear heels in the middle of the day…the desire to look your best and so improve your opinion of yourself. hmmmm…..

    1. That invisible mirror I carry can get really heavy! So glad to hear I’m not the only one out there who carries one sometimes!

  3. Rebecca,
    Yes. I struggle with comparing myself to others!! Especially other moms who wear heels :). Thank you so much for your honesty about the temptation to size each other up and somehow belittle ourselves in the process. NOT what God intends for us! Happy Friday.

    1. I don’t know why we do this to ourselves and each other. So glad I’m not the only one! Thanks for stopping by!

  4. I do this all the time. It doesn’t help that I work with 20-year-olds, who can roll out of bed and look like they’re off for a day of feeding woodland creatures out of the palms of their hands. I struggle to remember that I’ve earned all my marks. This was beautiful!

    1. It can be really hard, right? Thanks for commenting. I loved what you said about earning your marks. When I think about it I’ve always loved the look of a weathered tree that has stood through storms over a pristine new tree. 😉

  5. Sarah (theGIRL)

    Oh, good stuff. This is it: “If that’s what the conversation about me sounds like, at least the one that matters, isn’t there a similar conversation about the woman across from me?”

    If we could just start comparing notes about our God instead of our makeup routine, maybe we’d see how messed up we all really are.

    I’m so blessed by your post here. Go on and edit, girl. 😉

    1. Thanks so much for your comments Sarah! It means so much to me, and is so refreshing to know that people ‘get it!’

  6. So true!And worse than just comparing myself to someone who isn’t me (so I will never be just like her), I tend to justify myself and who/how I am by mentally tearing her down… I should accept who I am, and uplift her in who she is, instead!

    1. So easy in black and white, right? At least we’re not alone 🙂

  7. oh the comparison of she vs me. so resonates with me. thank you for sharing. so often there is such a battle in our heads that has nothing necessarily to do with the reality in front of us but rather our own thoughts of inferiority raising their head (at least in my life.) visiting from FMF

    1. I’m so glad I’m not the only one! I loved how you put that: she vs. me. Thanks for visiting!

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