My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life


I was hurt. It was another birthday that was wonderful and spent with the people I love, but in the last moments of the night I remembered the one who didn’t call. It was nothing new really. 10 years without a call. But it hurt. Every single time.

photo credit:

photo credit:

Worse than the hurt was my frustration that it hurt after all this time. I had worked hard and forgiven, but another offense meant a new wound. And I had to start again.

In Matthew Jesus tells us how often we should forgive. Not seven times but seven times seventy. That’s 490 times. At the suggestion of a friend, I decided to forgive 490 times everyday until it didn’t hurt anymore.

Forgiveness is really for the wounded not the other person.

Forgiveness is the healing that I needed more than the healing that he needed. I needed to not hurt. I needed to move forward and I could only do it by forgiving.

I decided to forgive 490 times everyday until it didn't hurt anymore. Click To Tweet

Sometimes you need something concrete to stand on. About six and half minutes of concrete. If you say “I forgive him/her” 490 times it takes about six and half minutes. Sometimes I would make it longer by singing it. But either way I stood on 490 times. Usually I would say it while driving, and most days it didn’t even register.

Sometimes changing the atmosphere matters just as much as changing our circumstances. When change starts in our spirit, our heart has no choice but to follow.

Linking up today with Holley Gerth and Jennifer Dukes Lee.

About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

13 Replies

  1. So happy to be next to you at Holley’s today. I’m going to try this with a person I have a hard time forgiving!

    1. Becky Hastings

      That’s great Elizabeth! Thanks for visiting!

  2. Great perspective with eye-catching graphic!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thanks! I loved the graphic; couldn’t take my eyes off of it 😉

  3. Becky, I’m stopping by from #TellHisStory and love that you took the Scripture and applied it to your life so concretely. Sometimes saying it out loud has such power and I will definitely be utilizing this technique in areas where I struggle to forgive. Beautifully written!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thank you Tarissa! I’m glad to share one of the tools in my toolbox of faith!

  4. Well said…forgiveness is for the wounded, not the other person. Sharing in your intentional forgiveness in my own life and grateful for the reminder Becky. Excellent coffee for my heart:)

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thanks for stopping by Crystal! The funny thing is that I wrote this to remind myself!

  5. Beth

    You and your writing are amazing! I am blessed to call you daughter! Love you so much!!!!

    1. Becky Hastings

      I learned from the best! xo

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