My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

Building Blocks of Strong Relationships

I have this friend. I know, I know…but stick with me. Because I do. She’s going through some stuff. Big, life stuff. And in some ways, she’s let me down. I know that sounds selfish. And I hate that I feel that way given what she’s going through. But sometimes we can’t choose our feelings.

I let those feelings fester. They bubbled and spread into cracks in my heart from past wounds and I found myself withdrawing, justifying my actions with wounds. My friend may have made mistakes, but I am not responsible for hers. I am only responsible for mine. They were adding up. I wasn’t showing love. I was defensive and cold. I was not the friend I wanted to be.



Because here’s the bottom line. We’re all going to make mistakes, especially with the people we are closest to. The only thing that is going to make our relationships weather the storm of our humanity is grace. It’s that simple.

3 Tips For Grace In Relationships

Everyday Grace — Here are those things we all get wrong in our relationships. We forget to call someone back or we miss that lunch. We leave someone out or we forget a birthday. They happen because we’re human. And we have a choice when they happen.

We can get lost in the hurt, licking our wounds in isolation or we can give grace and heal together. The choice is always ours.

Big Things Grace — These are harder. They hit deeper and often touch broken places inside of us. Maybe it started as something small but we never really gave grace and it became something big. Or maybe it was big. Maybe someone really hurt you.

The only thing that hurts more than being hurt is staying in that place of brokenness. We need to start somewhere and move forward. I had a big thing and the only way I could get to a place of grace was with a number: 490.

Give and Let Go — Sometimes grace means letting go. When we’ve done all we can there is a point where we need to let it go and give it to God. And that may mean letting the relationship go. Holding on to something broken is worse than letting go of something so it can heal.

When we hold on to people out of obligation or duty, we are lacking the very grace that we need to be in relationship with one another. Start with grace. Then ask God if it’s time to let go and what that looks like in this relationship.

grace voskamp


Grace in relationships isn’t easy, but it is beneficial. Ask God how you can show the people in your life grace and see how grace upon grace upon grace are the best building blocks of a relationship.

This post is part of a series about Grace in the Real World. To see the other posts click here.

real grace



About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

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