My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

The 8 Things I Want To Be

I started making a list of all the things I want to do. It felt like I would never stop writing. I needed something deeper. Something that wasn’t about tasks, but about the person behind the task. So, I changed the list.

I made a list of all the things I want to be.


1. A fantastic wife who cooks, cleans, looks gorgeous and initiates lots of sex.

2. The mom who is patient and fun, laughs a lot, gives great hugs and snuggles, reads all the time and makes her kids feel loved. Always.

3. A Christian who knows the God and the Word, reads it every day, prays deep and listens to God while loving others well.

4. A woman who is fit and healthy, well dressed with great hair. Wears lipstick and heels on a Tuesday.

5. A friend who has time for her friends, feels loved by each one and does life together.

6. A writer with actual print books that make a difference, a dedicated tribe, and great headshots.

7. The kind of sister who is close with her siblings, sees them all the time, and has tons of inside jokes.

8. A daughter who honors her parents, enjoys time with them, and makes time for them often.

Easy, right?

Maybe you’re laughing and nodding in agreement. Maybe you think I’m crazy. Maybe you’re making your own list. The truth is, we all have lists. Unspoken expectations of who we think we should be. And somehow we think to ourselves, unless we can be all of these things, we’ve failed.

We set out chasing versions of who we think we should be instead of who God calls us to be. Click To Tweet

And it is just too much.

Too much worrying, thinking, not quite cutting it. Too much pressure, comparison, berating ourselves. The list can be exhausting. And the truth is, nothing on that list is bad. Some of it may be different for each of us, but nothing I wrote is a negative, bad thing that I’m aspiring to. But we can’t do it all. We were never called to and we will never be all the things on our lists. We are running like hamsters on a wheel, constantly looking around us to make sure we’re keeping up.

We can set out chasing who we think we want to be or we can chase God. We cannot do both. Click To Tweet

What is on your list? Write it down. Really think about it and be honest.

Now ask yourself this question: Will God love me more if I become all the things on my list?

Come close, friend, so you can hear the answer. No.


Maybe we need to stop looking at who we think we want to be, and instead focus on who God is.

Linking up with these great writers today!


About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I'm here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

8 Replies

  1. This has been a wonderful read. Got me thinking of what I REALLY want to be in life.

    1. Becky Hastings

      It’s hard to really narrow down, isn’t it?! Then to see what matches up with what God calls us to…that’s eye opening!

  2. Oh man, this is a good list! I agree with so many of these. 🙂 What a great idea too.

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thank you Danielle! So nice to be among like minded friends!

  3. So true- it is easy to put too much pressure on ourselves, to desire good things but to exhaust ourselves trying to do it all. It definitely takes a lot of pressure off when we focus on who God is and remember that we are loved regardless of our success or failure.

    1. Becky Hastings

      I found your comment! Yay! It can be so exhausting when we try to do and be everything all the time! I love remember that God’s love is always, no matter what, ours.
      Thanks for being here Lesley, and for letting me know about the comments! 3 Got sent to spam for some unknown reason!

  4. You….Go….Girl! I love this message. I could see so many of my own desires in your list, but you are right….I can’t chase who I want to be and who God has called me to be at the same time. These desires compete within me and pull me in different directions. Today I choose God, always Him!

    1. Becky Hastings

      So grateful for like-minded friends and encouraging one another! Keep choosing God Sarah, and remember, on those days you don’t…’s all grace friend!

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