My Ink Dance

Discovering Extraordinary Grace in an Ordinary Life

When You Get Motherhood Wrong

I could feel it slipping through my fingers. Any hope of the person I wanted to be falling away as my voice got louder and my fists clenched tight by my sides.

This wasn’t how I wanted motherhood to look. This wasn’t the mother I wanted to be.

I could give you plenty of examples of the scene above.

The seemingly hundredth time my kids fought over the rules to the game they were playing.

The time the milk spilled all over the table and floor after I had asked them to stop fooling around.

The endless times I’ve told everyone to get their crap out of the car because it wasn’t a trash can on wheels.

I could keep going.

Anger comes too easily to me. I’m reactive, and while that makes for big love and joy and fun, it also makes for big anger and frustration and surprisingly little patience. Today was just another instance in the list I was certain God was keeping of all the times I’ve failed at this motherhood gig. I’m sure there were indexes of the scrolls by now.

And all of these times made me feel big feelings of exactly who I thought I was as a mother: a failure.

Today was just another instance in the list I was certain God was keeping of all the times I've failed at this motherhood gig. Click To Tweet

We could talk about how shining a spotlight on those moments don’t account for the hundreds of other moments with goodnight kisses and homework help and hugs for scraped knees. We could argue that one bad moment does not make a bad mother. But feelings don’t care much for reason. Feelings have reasons of their own and mine were a mess.

In all those moments of mom failure, I found myself questioning my very worth. I wasn’t thinking about what God says about me. I wasn’t making sense and using reason. I wasn’t giving myself grace. I was taking my worst moments and using those to define my whole life. As if I had the power to define myself.

I was taking my worst moments and using those to define my whole life. As if I had the power to define myself. Click To Tweet

We may live our lives thinking we have power, and in some ways we are right. But nothing we do or say or even think about ourselves can negate what God says about us. We are simply not that powerful.

God sees us, in all of our messy places, with big feelings and terrible reactions. He sees all of who we are and who we think we are and still declares us worthy. Not because of what we do or say, but because of who He is and what He says. 

Maybe it’s time we believed it, too.


Do you long to believe what God says about you? Can you imagine what it would be like to live your life believing you are worthy?

Worthy: Believe Who God Says You Are is a devotional that will help you live that life. You won’t want to miss this. And if you order before June 8, 2017, you can receive free gifts ready for download now to help you know who God says you are! Click here for all the info!


Sharing words with these great writers today!

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About Becky Hastings

I am emotional and logical. I am strong and dependent. I am a juxtaposition of head and heart exploring it all through writing. And in all my mixed-up ways I am loved. I’m here to tell you that you are, too. Just the way you are.

14 Replies

  1. Yes! I’ve lived a lot of these days, too, and really feel like *any other mom* would be having more success at motherhood than I was! But God gently reminds me that He chose me specifically for these three, and with Him leading my heart, I can lead them.
    Thank you for this encouragement!

    1. Becky Hastings

      He did choose you specifically for your three kids! What an important truth to remember!

  2. I got it wrong so many times but I find now that my oldest is 48 and my youngest is almost 40? They don’t even remember the mom-fail’s they just remember the really awesome life we had together at home!!!

    1. Becky Hastings

      YES!!! I love this because it’s shows the heart of being a mom is so much more than getting it “right”. So glad you shared!

  3. Being a mom is definitely one of the hardest callings of all. But so worth it! Especially when your kids are grown and you get to experience the fruit of your labor. 🙂 Grace–keep grabbing hold of it!

    1. Becky Hastings

      Amen!

  4. “Feelings don’t care much for reason.” Truth! We can do 98% of this mothering thing well, but that 2% we miss — that’s what we base our success on. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Good word today, friend. Thank you! ((xoxo))

    1. Becky Hastings

      Thanks Brenda!

  5. It’s true that it’s easy to focus on the times we mess up rather than the times we get it right. I’m glad that God doesn’t keep track of our failures. I agree, as he offers us grace we should be more ready to offer it to ourselves.

    1. Becky Hastings

      So true!

  6. I get mothering wrong all the time ;). Anger comes far too easy for me as well, Becky. I can so relate as most (actually probably ALL) of us mommies can. So many much needed truths you’ve shared here. Thank you!

    1. Becky Hastings

      It’s so good to know I’m not alone 🙂

  7. I resonate so well with what you are saying – that aspect of not giving myself enough grace and being so hard on myself for the mistakes and times I have lost it with the kids! Thanks for the reminder! God bless

    1. Becky Hastings

      It’s easy to forget, isn’t it? Keep holding tight to grace, friend!

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